Deep Point of View
Image by slightly_different from Pixabay
Sod social distancing!
Here’s how to use Deep (aka Close or Intimate) Point of View (POV) techniques to drag your reader up close and very personal with your Viewpoint Character(s) (VPC).
What is Deep POV?
In Deep POV (DPOV) your reader experiences the story from inside your VPC. The character lives the story (and the reader vicariously) as opposed to the character/narrator telling the reader the story in standard POVs. It can be used with First, Third Limited, less so Second Person but not Omniscient. The reader sees, hears, feels, receives and processes information, and experiences, through the VPC’s perspective and that’s all filtered and coloured by the VPC’s interests, political stance, education and even physical limitations.
Standard v Deep examples:
3rd Person POV: Something sharp dug into Sarah’s spine causing a flash of fear to course through her body. She heard a man’s voice growl, ‘Move to the window or I’ll stab you.’
3rd Person Deep POV: A sharp prick at her spine, nerves needling, she froze. A man said, ‘Move to the window or I’ll stab you.’
Why use DPOV?
• Deep affinity between reader and VPC,
• Heightens emotion, drama and fun,
• Filters a complex story with large cast through a conduit character,
• Novel becomes a living, immersive experience rather than entertainment.
Principles of Deep POV
Limited Knowledge – VPCs (and reader) can’t know others’ intentions or feelings as they’re not omniscient (they can, however, speculate and misinterpret).
If someone squints and scratches-their-head or rubs-eyes with heel-of-hand we recognise these as confusion or fatigue without needing written explanation. So have your VPC react to these cues characteristically to both progress the plot and build intimacy with reader. Perhaps your VPC reacts by swearing inside their head and snapping at the person head-scratching – signalling to the reader the incomprehension happens regularly and your VPC’s impatient.
Inside-to-Outside View – Story always told from the VPC’s eyes looking out at the world. They feel themselves flush but can’t observe whether their skin turned pink or beetroot. Don’t break outside and look in on your VPC.
Interior Life – Internal thoughts and visceral bodily reactions. Your VPC feels their guts cramp and their pulse throb in their throat in response to fear rather than thinking I’m terrified. Use internal thoughts realistically. No one thinks I have to behead the gorgon, use her decapitated head to freeze my headmaster and break into his office to get my mobile back. Content aside, we don’t plan our objectives like that. We think Is he in his office?
Interpretations – Bias spun from the VPC’s perspective. As the conduit communicating the story to the reader the VPC’s prejudices, interests, likes, limitations … all shape the plot.
Immediacy – Use of active voice – over passive voice – ensures energy propels forward. Showing maintains an in-the-moment authenticity whereas telling feels reported.
(For more info on Active v Passive Voice click my Blog post)
Editing your Manuscript to go Deeper
Characterisation
Motivation – Know your VPC thoroughly (there’s no hiding in DPOV).
Personality and Experiences – Similarly, know whether VPCs are driven, Machiavellian, considerate, loyal? Fight or flee? Pets as child? Allergies/broken bones? Sweet or sour? Analytical/spaced-out?
Sounds overly detailed – in particular because you WON’T be listing these on the page – but the answers WILL affect the entire story because your character’s reactions and interactions relay their personality to the reader, drive plot and bring it alive.
Voice – dialect, education, friends, upbringing, career, sports teams … will all influence how your VPC communicates: scientifically, aggressively, colloquially, fast, breathless…
Presentation
Reduce Filter Words, Dialogue Tags, Proper Names and Italicised Internal Thoughts.
Don’t get between your character and reader by shoving a signpost in their face. Filter Words like saw, heard, felt, thought, imagined... remind your reader it’s a story. The same goes for complex dialogue tags. However, do use said/says when clarity necessitates. Use I/we/she/he instead of VPC’s Proper Name as much as possible, even in 3rd Person. Avoid Italicising Inner Thoughts (like I have in Principles of DPOV above). The whole story is the inner looking outward so don’t differentiate inner dialogue.
Finally, don’t stay in DPOV for the entire novel. It’s so intense you’ll have your reader rocking back-and-forth in a corner.
Instead, still relaying the story through the VPC’s eyes, ease out for a breather and divert the reader with action, dialogue, supporting cast and plot progression. This isn’t Navel Gazing POV where the reader’s stuck in the character’s head, but a way to take your reader Deep into a world where their heart’s in their mouth, they shed happy tears and have an uneasy feeling they’re being watched…
I originally wrote a version of this piece for the Society of Children’s Book Authors and Illustrators’ (SCBWI’s) online magazine WORDS AND PICTURES as part of their KNOWHOW series. Check it out here. As a proud member of SCBWI, I recommend you join if you’re a children’s author or illustrator (or aspiring).
